Kat Crawford

This is the backside of that Husker fan, my best friend, and husband. He weighed 240 pounds when we rushed him to emergency in December 2002. By the time he’d finished his second hospital visit (Jan 03), he’d lost about 70 pounds. He looked like a wrinkled white sheet. Fragile.

“Unfortunately you have Pseudomyxoma Peritonei, a rare cancer that originated in the appendix.” Bingo, I transformed from wife to caregiver in a heartbeat.
Caregiver defined: Car-E-Give-R

Car: Find your chauffeurs hat you’ll need it.

E is for ear. Develop a new habit. Listen with your ears, your heart and your gut. Hear the spoken and unspoken requests. Listen with the ears, not the mouth. Let the patient express their feelings—good or bad.

Give with a willing heart. Time. Energy. Love. Add another word to give: “Up”. Give up sleep, your spare time, and your emotions. Above all “keep your hopes HIGH and your expectations low.*

R is for rocky. A caregiver learns to deal with doctors, nurses, the hospital janitor and the inconsiderate roommate—often the days are rough.

Roget’s Thesaurus says Caregiver: attendant, custodian, parent, mother, father, nurse, babysitter, sister, caretaker, nanny, au pair. I read those words and thought, “Nope. My definition is better. I’ve lived the role.”

Here's the best definition of a Cargiver:

A Giver of Hope

PS Gary isn’t telling what he weighs now, but upwards of 200—he looks and feels good. I’m grateful for the opportunity to serve as caregiver—was I always? Nope, it’s a title with definite challenges.