When Do We Tell Our Children

For the patient or the caregiver, dealing with a chronic or terminal illness painfully tough. Talking with the children is even tougher.

♥ When do I tell my children?

When you can control your emotions is the best time. If you can’t cope, talk with a healthcare professional. You and your family will benefit if you can stay active, involved in their everyday activities and keep life on a normal schedule.

Some ask, “What is a normal schedule?” The answer is whatever you’ve done in the past continue doing. If you were an early riser, get up. If that isn’t possible,

♥ Why should I tell my children I have a chronic or terminal illness?

Children are smarter than you think. They understand when changes take place in routine, when here are more meds han usual around, more doctor visits and more medicines around than usual. Hushed conversations tell the child something secret is happening—that can tweak their emotions.

♥ Allow the child to prepare for the loss of a loved one.

You prepare your child for the first day of school, the first date, and even a major test at school. The loss of a parent is much more traumatic than any of those usual life events, be kind, allow your child to grieve while you are still here. Soften the blow. Lavish love and nurture security outside of yourself. Teach your child to be independent of you and move them to ask for help from other extended family, friends, teachers or church leaders.

Often a child feels responsible for the death of a loved one. Some call that “magical thinking” like they can control their universe. Ease the guilt coupled with loss.

Be truthful.

Be forthright. If a question is asked, answer it.

♥ When should you tell a child a parent or sibling might die?

Some illness has the look of death, loss of weight, more treatment, many hospital stays. But what about the patient that looks fine on the outside, yet the doctor says time is running out. The child has no idea of the inevitable.

Tell them about serious illness

Give the name of the disease

Share the possible outcome

Never lose sight of hope

♥ Remember, all life is terminal.

We never know when death might come. We might cross the street, be hit by a car, or fall down a flight of stairs. To prepare